


Time To Give In

by matanee



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Angst, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Titles, Kissing, M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Canon, Promises, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, i was writing this while listening to the TDKR soundtrack, i'm not to be trusted, just hug it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matanee/pseuds/matanee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"And what about you?"</i>
</p><p>  <i>Damen might've been able to give a fairly confident answer had Laurent not chosen this moment to turn around and face him. His face was emptied of emotions, only the shallow rise and fall of his chest implied that his heart was probably beating faster than usually. They stood each other's gaze and Damen couldn't help but step closer, only a little.</i></p><p>  <i>"You already know."</i><br/> </p><p>Set after Volume II. The battle is won and Damen's secret is out. He isn't ready to leave without seeing Laurent one last time, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time To Give In

Damen was done packing.

It'd been a long, sleepless night, and an even longer morning when he managed to sit down for a moment and look at his packs stacked upon each other. Nikandros' men promised to take care of the bags so Damen would not need to bother. Damen was restless all the same, fretting the moment he would have to rise from that chair and leave this room behind. Leave Ravenel behind. Leave this country behind.

Leave Laurent behind.

The gold cuff on his wrist felt heavier all of a sudden and he looked down, slightly pulling his sleeve up on his lower arm. _Sentiment._ It was more than just sentiment. He ran his finger over the cuff, the cool golden surface smooth against his fingertip. Its twin lay on the table, wrapped in a soft cloth. Damen glanced at it and swallowed the lump in his throat. He wondered whether Laurent would've still liked to have it.

There was hatred in the magnificent blue eyes when Damen had last seen him. It was on the battlefield: his Veretian men lined up behind him, the Akielon men behind Damen. They stared each other down with all the dead men around them, with the Regent lying lifeless at Laurent's feet. Blood was still dripping from his sword and he was heaving, more emotions on his face than Damen had ever seen. He arrived the moment Laurent pulled his sword out of his uncle's stomach, and no words had been exchanged between them. No words were necessary. One look was enough to see that Laurent knew.

Damen didn't try to explain, to excuse himself, to beg for mercy. It would've done no good, and it most certainly wouldn't have won him Laurent's forgiveness. He hadn't sent for Damen yet and already a whole night passed. Damen didn't know whether to feel relieved at that or not.

The soft knock on the door shook him out of his thoughts and he cleared his throat, running a hand over his face quickly.

"Come in."

He wasn't surprised at how hoarse and exhausted he sounded, after all, he hadn't slept more than an hour that night. He recognized Nikandros' stewart as he entered the room, the young man bowing in front of Damen respectfully. Damen stood and the steward looked at him.

"Your Highness, I would take your belongings if you are finished packing."

"Go ahead," Damen nodded and the stewart bowed again, signalling towards the open door with his hand. Several Akielon soldiers came in, all bowing to Damen the moment they laid eyes on him, then, they started picking up his bags. The stewart stood by and watched them until the room was empty, then, he spotted the gold cuff on the table. Of course, he didn't know what the cloth was hiding.

Damen followed the stewart's gaze and just shook his head a little.

"That stays." Then, he added kindly, "Thank you."

"Your Highness," the stewart bowed again and left the room, closing the door behind him gently.

Damen slowly walked towards the table and picked up the wrapped cuff. His heart was beating steadily, but heavier than he would've liked. He couldn't shake the memories, the feeling of lingering touches and soft kisses. There was a purple bruise on his knuckles, a reminder how hard he stroke Laurent two days ago. Yet, the cuff was gone from his wrist, which was another reminder.

Everything was a reminder, and he had to take a deep breath to ease the tension in his chest. He already knew that he wouldn't be able to leave like this, without a word. Laurent was giving him a way out, to let him leave unpunished and unharmed, but Damen wasn't a coward. He wanted to face him one last time and confess, even if Laurent wouldn't listen. Maybe his conscience would never be clear, but he could leave without constantly having to think about the 'what ifs'.

He held the cuff in his hand as he left his room and took off to find Laurent's chambers.

It was still early in the morning and there weren't too many people on the corridors. The sun shone through the windows faintly and followed Damen on his way, his heart beating harder and harder with every step. He could hear his people getting ready in the courtyard and the hour of his departure closing in felt like a noose around his neck. He had been awaiting this moment for the past months, yet, it was hard to find joy in it now.

Finding Laurent's room wasn't a hard task, and he wasn't surprised to see two guards at the great wooden doors. Damen was sure they had been standing there for the entire night.

"No one is allowed in there," one of the guards said, his tone monotone. Damen stood before them without a word, switching his gaze between the guards. They were most likely Veretian soldiers, unknown to him. "The Prince's orders."

Damen knew it was probably useless to keep persuading the guards, but he couldn't just leave without at least trying.

"I only need five minutes with him."

"The Prince said no one," the other guard said, his eyes piercing as he laid his gaze on Damen. "No exceptions."

"Yesterday, I was Captain here."

"And today, you're just an Akielon dog," said the same guard, stepping forward only a little. Damen didn't move back. The guard would need more to intimidate him. "A prince-killer."

"And I'm leaving your country today, I just need to talk to the Prince first," Damen said coldly, standing the gaze of both guards confidently.

A long silence followed and the tension was growing. He felt like he could've exploded any moment now, and he knew he would've been ready to fight these men if they wouldn't let him in. He was grateful he didn't have to, for a voice ringed from the other side of the door, muffled but still audible.

"Let him in."

The guards looked at each other quickly before they turned back to Damen to frown at him with hatred. One of them opened the door reluctantly and Damen slipped through, his heart beating in his throat.

Laurent's room was the same as he remembered. Damen couldn't help but notice the smallest details, though. The untouched bed, the uneaten, rich plate of food, the empty jug of wine. Laurent himself was standing with his back to the door, still in his princely clothes. He definitely hadn't slept that night.

He wasn't the only one.

"Come to say goodbye?"

A wave of déja vu washed through Damen and he shivered, his knees suddenly weak. He knew he would have to be exceptionally strong to do this, but he never thought it would be this hard. Laurent asked a simple question, yet, his tone was the same as Damen's that morning. Hoarse, unused - but cold as ice.

Damen had no idea what to say. He came here for a reason he couldn't remember now, his eyes fixed on Laurent's slender back, golden locks reflecting the morning sunlight. He was beautiful beyond imagination, and Damen wanted nothing more than to walk up to him and touch him. Yet, the impossibility of his desire was overwhelming, pushing down on his shoulders until he could barely stay standing.

He said he would only need five minutes with him, though. He couldn't just stand there and waste all of it until the guards would drag him out with force. Laurent wouldn't stop them, Damen was sure of it.

"I brought you something," Damen said quietly, reluctantly taking a step closer. Laurent's posture didn't change, he didn't even seem to be breathing. Damen carefully stepped to the table closest to him, not daring to approach Laurent. He placed the wrapped cuff on the table gently, his heart aching more and more with every beat. "If you still wish to have it."

"Is that all?"

Laurent's voice was low and demanding, the edge of his words leaving Damen breathless for a second. He wanted to see his face, one last time. Yet, he had no right to ask.

"Laurent," said Damen. His voice was unsure and he had to fist his fingers so his hands wouldn't shake. He couldn't take his eyes off Laurent. He never could. "I'm sorry I haven't told you."

The silence stretched out painfully. With every moment, Damen knew he was running out of time, and the last thing he wanted to do was to leave.

"I think I've known from the beginning," Laurent broke the silence after what felt like an eternity, and Damen could hear each individual beat of his heart in his ears. Or the lack of them once Laurent decided to speak. "I just didn't want to know. After a while."

"I wish I could go back and change what I've done," Damen said, a little too quick and a little too desperate. He tried to stop himself, but it was only momentary before he continued. "I wish I could make it better."

"You wish you'd lost the battle?" Laurent sounded sceptic, but he didn't raise his voice. It was still cold as ever, and Damen felt a knot in his stomach the moment the blond turned his head a little. His profile was beautiful. "You wish Auguste had killed you instead of the other way around?"

 _I wish I'd known everything I know now_ , Damen wanted to say, but he just fell silent. Laurent turned his head back and his shoulders rose with the deep breath he took. Damen noticed only now how Laurent's hands were clenched into fists on the top of the table in front of him.

"Once I restored peace and order in my country, I will do everything in my power to help you achieve the same in Vere," Damen said, his voice sounding steady and diplomatic now, fit for a king. "You have the friendship of Akielos."

"And what about you?"

Damen might've been able to give a fairly confident answer had Laurent not chosen this moment to turn around and face him. His face was emptied of emotions, only the shallow rise and fall of his chest implied that his heart was probably beating faster than usually. They stood each other's gaze and Damen couldn't help but step closer, only a little.

"You already know."

"I don't."

"You must."

"I mustn't anything. I am a prince."

Damen had to fight back the urge to smile at the way Laurent slightly raised his chin, as if it was his way to hide his emotions even better. He still kept walking closer, very slowly, one step at a time. The room and everything outside of it seemed irrelevant, and the only thing Damen had eyes for was standing in front of him, only a few paces away.

"I already told you. You will have a friend across the border."

"A friend?" The way Laurent said it, it sounded nearly disgusting. Damen's stomach twisted.

"I can't ask for more. I'm not worthy of anything more."

Laurent snorted in disbelief, half a laugh, half a bark. He had flames in his eyes, and Damen swallowed hard. He was so close to him already, he didn't know when to stop.

"You didn't seem so conscientious when you fucked me two days ago," he all but spat, now sounding angry, and Damen stopped. "Were you worthy then?"

"Things were different then."

Laurent narrowed his eyes.

"Different?" he muttered, his voice shaking with the force to keep it down.

"I was Damen. I was your slave," Damen said. He was looking straight at Laurent. "Now I'm Damianos. The cuffs are gone. I'm the man who killed your brother."

"You didn't fuck me because you were my slave."

Damen wanted to touch him, to brush his fingers against the bruises on Laurent's jaw where Damen hit him. Laurent was shaking in his entire body to supress his rage, and Damen wanted nothing more than to comfort him. He just knew he wouldn't be allowed to.

"No," a small smile slipped out of him and Laurent's gaze flickered to his lips before it was back on Damen's eyes again. "I did it because I wanted you. I still do. It won't change. But I'm Damianos and I did something that can't be undone. I know you will never forgive me. The most I can do is to help you as a friend."

Damen had a long night to think about all these things. To run them through his mind and force himself to accept the truth. The truth that they couldn't go back to where they were before the battle. They couldn't go back to that morning when Damen woke with Laurent in his arms. That belonged in the past and was sealed with Laurent's final words addressed to Damen. _Trust me._ And he trusted Laurent, just like Laurent trusted Damen. But the brunet had to come to terms with the fact that that trust was fragile to begin with, and Laurent would never look at him the same way again.

The memory of seeing Laurent on the battlefield, with all that hatred in his eyes, came back to Damen like a kick in the stomach. He dropped his eyes to Laurent's shoulders, not being able to stand his gaze for any longer. His time was running out, and he still had so many things to say. He just didn't have the words.

"When I ordered you flogged back in the palace, I didn't mean to stop until you were dead," Laurent said quietly, apparently succeeding in keeping his rage under control. Damen's stomach twisted again but he forced himself to look up at Laurent. This time, Laurent was the one looking away. He was gazing in the direction of the table where Damen placed the golden cuff. "I hated you. I wanted to make you suffer until you begged for my mercy, until you would've done anything just to make it stop. And I would've stopped, only to start again and keep going until you bled out on the pole. I hated you so much. And I think... When you hate something that much, you will unvoluntarily bear the responsibility towards them. I started noticing everything about you. Every little thing that reminded me of Auguste, of myself. How could I not trust that?"

Their eyes met and Damen felt like the air was sucked out of his lungs in a second. Every heartbeat was agonizingly painful, but he kept staring until his eyes ran dry, until he realized his chest was nearly brushing against Laurent's.

"I had no one left to trust but you," Laurent said, his voice barely above a whisper. "So I didn't want to know what you've done. I buried it deep underneath and I went to bed with you."

"Laurent," Damen murmured, his hand coming up to Laurent's face before he could've stopped it, but Laurent didn't pull away. He didn't lean into it either.

"I will have no one if you leave."

Damen brushed his thumb across Laurent's jaw lightly and the blond's blue eyes fluttered closed, his lips parting slightly. Damen could barely resist the temptation to kiss Laurent breathless.

"Your men are loyal. You have everything to be a king." _You have me_ , he wanted to add but decided against it. He just looked Laurent in the eye, a small, encouraging smile playing on his lips, with his fingers still in Laurent's hair. He never wanted to let him go.

"Kiss me," Laurent muttered, his voice deep but lacking his usual commanding tone. It was more of a plea than an order, and Damen's knees started to shake slightly.

"I have to go in a few minutes." Damen didn't move, and he didn't mind how desperate his voice sounded. In front of Laurent, it didn't matter anymore. "Please don't make it harder to let go."

"Then let go," Laurent said, not moving either. They were standing only an inch away from each other, breathing heavily. Neither of them attempted to increase the distance between them, it was more like a game to see which one of them would give up sooner.

Laurent had mastered flawless control over his body over the years. They both knew which one of them would give in first.

And Damen did end up giving in.

He kissed Laurent like he could never do it again. He held the blond's face with both hands now as he captured his lips, luring small sounds out of Laurent. Their bodies pressed together, Laurent's fingers digging into Damen's shoulders deeply, and the brunet snaked one arm around the other's waist to pull him even closer. He remembered the lazy kisses they exchanged in bed, the tiny sounds Laurent made, the shivers that ran through his body under Damen's ministrations. He gently bit on Laurent's lower lip and soothed it with his tongue, only to meet Laurent's halfway. The blond was kissing him with the same ferocity, the same need and desire, and Damen only pulled away when they ran out of air. He trailed Laurent's jawline until he reached his ear and kissed him behind it, inhaling the smell of Laurent's hair.

"Promise me," Laurent whispered, his voice hoarse and demanding, his arms still tightly holding onto Damen. He didn't move away an inch. "Promise me you will come back."

Damen pressed one last open mouthed kiss on Laurent's pulse before he pulled his head back to look at him. His palm pressed against the side of the blond's neck, and his thumb found Laurent's lips again. His mouth instinctively opened a little and a shiver ran through Damen.

"I can't have people spread rumours that you only do it once every ten years," Damen said, half-expecting his joke to be ill-timed. However, the corners of Laurent's mouth curved up slightly and Damen pressed his forehead against the blond's, breathing in the same air as him. "I want to make it up to you. Even if it takes a lifetime."

Damen saw Laurent's eyes slipping closed and felt the other's fingers buried in his hair. Laurent gently drew circles against Damen's head until Damen's entire body was covered in goosebumps.

"Then come back."

Damen smiled and leant a little closer, his lips barely brushing against Laurent's. Just before they collided again, he whispered, "I promise."

This time, it wasn't Damen who gave in first.

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language so forgive me for any mistakes, it was pretty much unbeta'd. Also, I consumed these books in less than a week, and it took me that long only because I tried to show self-restraint. Now I'm ready to go to bed crying because of these fools every damn night.
> 
> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it! :)
> 
> (Also, I'm sorry if Laurent was slightly OOC. It's my first time writing about this pairing and I'm afraid I'm not nearly as witty as Laurent is. /sigh)


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